3 RULES FOR SUCCESSFUL HOOK-UPS

So I’ve been on a few dates with this one guy recently, and the other day we went on our second beer date, after which I anticipated having lots of sex. However, this was not what he had planned.

Eventually I told him to come over, and when he did I asked him why he has not initiated any sex even though we had been flirting all night. His response was not a new one.

“You’re just so nice. How I could fill my mind with any lecherous thoughts about you?”

Oh, right. I have that “virginal look”(?). Which obviously means I don’t like sex. Well have I got news for you. I have a vagina. And I know how to use it.

When I told him a funny story about how I had been late for my appointments that day because I was masturbating he said, “Oh you’re so bad!”

From “nice” to “bad”. Ah yes, the old virgin/whore dichotomy.

Honestly, how many of you have experienced this before? There’s no middle ground. At all. You’re a virgin who needs a man to show her how to like sex, or a whore for whom sex is a way to deal with her daddy-issues.

Now for a moment let’s look at what initiated this “bad” or whore label.

Masturbation. Masturbation is BAD.

I know far too many women who do not masturbate or are afraid of “what goes on down there”. We all know that episode of Sex In The City where the character Charlotte, the good girl, says, “It’s ugly”.

HONEY. IT’S YOUR BODY. You’d better get used to it because those are YOUR sex organs, and 50% of the population has the same ugly sex organs as you.

Touch yourself. Get to know and love your body. It’s not a man’s job to know what to do with it. It’s your responsibility.

Owning pleasure is something I feel very strongly about. If we are to become strong, self-aware women, we have to take responsibility for our own pleasure. That means demanding pleasure, demanding respect, and being honest with our partner(s) and ourselves.

Which leads my into my hook-up rules.

Hook-up rule #1:

“You make me cum before you put your penis inside me.” This way you guarantee you will have an orgasm before him, and therefore that you will have one at all. We all know the “Oh wow, I’m so tired after I cum.” *snore*

Hook-up rule #2:

“Would you like it if I did that to you?” One of my best friends and idols on this subject once said to her boyfriend, “If you put it in my ass, I get to put it in yours.” Same thing goes for cumming on the face. If you’re not cool with it, it’s not cool. And he probably wouldn’t be either. End of discussion.

Hook-up rule #3:

“No- this way.” Don’t just tell them what you don’t like, tell them what you like. It takes a little more brain power, but everyone benefits in the end! A good way to find this out is to….

MASTURBATE.